Baric Funding

Been involved in an Accident? Pre-settlement Funding can Help

It was only a year ago that pre-settlement funding changed my life and my luck forever.

I had recently turned 33, a milestone year for me, as it is the earliest that I can remember my dad’s birthday. Strange you might think, but I always said I wanted to achieve as much as he had by that age. It hasn’t happened.

This gave me something of a mid-life crisis. Where’s my wife? Where’s my family? Why haven’t I settled into a blossoming career that makes me feel worthy of a place in society? All these questions needed an answer, and I decided it could be found in the shape of a Kawasaki Ninja 750cc motorcycle. Of course!

I popped down to my local bank one morning (most disreputable auto dealerships want cash) and took out $7,500. More than enough for the aforementioned coffin on wheels that is bizarrely only produced in one color.

Henry Ford once famously remarked when asked of the Model T’s available color schemes “you can have whatever color you like as long as it’s black.” The CEO of Kawasaki possibly, less famously, remarked “you can have whatever color you like, as long as it’s snot-green.”

Either way, this 180 mile-an-hour sneeze was going to get me the pick of the wives, and enough respect to walk into any job this side of the Mississippi. I was highly excited as I handed over the cash and rode away.

No sooner had I got onto the freeway, when a Chevy pickup joined the slip-road without looking and ploughed into my side. Bit’s of smashed limb and green faring pebble-dashed three lanes.

Thankfully, my sister worked for a firm that specializes in pre-settlement funding. This was especially intended for imbeciles who have spent their last savings on a jet propelled mechanical bull.

The pre-settlement funding people came through for me and everything was sorted weeks before my case came to court. Eventually the pickup owner said I should have been driving slower and the case was thrown out of court for lack of evidence. Luckily the pre settlement funding guys have a no-win, no-fee policy and everything came good in the end. I even married my nurse as I was recuperating; something commonly referred to as the ‘Florence Nightingale effect’.

I often think of buying another Kawasaki Ninja. I figure as long as pre settlement funding and attractive nurses co-exist, what’s there to stop me